Where Do I Begin? Choosing Music for a Memorial Service

Wondering where to begin on planning the music for a loved one's memorial service or "celebration of life" service? With performance experience at more than 1000 memorial services I am happy to pass on the knowledge I have gained. A memorial service is a very personal thing, so choose music that resonates with your family, and choose solos or congregational hymns that were favorites of your loved one.

For the memorial service, funeral or "celebration of life" service:

Choose favorite hymns or other pieces that will minister to the spirit and emotions of those attending. This can include favorite classical, instrumental or vocal pieces.

Here are songs that are most commonly requested for solos or for congregational singing:

The most commonly requested hymns for Christian services are: Amazing Grace, How Great Thou Art, The Lord's Prayer, In the Garden, Old Rugged Cross, and It is Well with My Soul.

The most commonly requested gospel songs for Christian services are: Just a Closer Walk with Thee, Precious Lord Take My Hand, In the Sweet By and By, When We All Get to Heaven, Beyond the Sunset, and I'll Fly Away.

The most commonly requested songs for Catholic services are: On Eagle's Wings, Shepherd Me O God (Psalm 23), Be Not Afraid, You are Mine, Ave Maria, The Lord's Prayer, and Amazing Grace.

The most commonly requested secular songs are: Wind Beneath My Wings, My Heart Will Go On (Theme from Titanic), Somewhere Over the Rainbow, Time to Say Goodbye, and I'll be Loving You Always.

The most commonly requested country western songs are: One More Day (Diamond Rio), Always (Dolly Parton), and Angel(Sarah McLachlan).

For the visitation use non-obtrusive classical and relaxing music so people can easily converse without having to speak loudly. This music can be interspersed with favorite hymns or other favorite songs. Usually instrumental music will be used for the visitation, but some vocal can work if the family enjoys it, especially at times when people are not conversing.

For the reception use light classical music, waltzes, songs from musicals, love songs and relaxing music. Using music that is familiar to people helps them feel relaxed. Again, the music should be quiet enough so they can talk.

Finding the right musician(s):

1. Ask for a demo tape or ask to hear them perform.

2. Pay attention to how their music makes you feel. A poor voice or someone lacking technical skill will often make you feel tense or uneasy. The music of an excellent musician will soothe you and bring you a sense of peace.

If you are unable to afford live music, consider harp or other acoustic music that has a relaxed tempo.

With this knowledge you are prepared to use the power of music for relaxation and peace to enhance the experience of everyone who takes part in any of your memorial service day activities.